The Rhode Island Science Fiction Club has unearthed the real reason why the cost of milk has skyrocketed lately. Mysterious disappearances and unexplained phenomena are our thing, y’know.
This intrepid reporter risked his skin (and almost his lunch) to unearth these findings. Read more if you dare….
Spurred on by the soaring costs of my nightly ice cream snack I ventured out into the field to see what was happening to cows throughout the state. Why are prices of milk and milk products still rising when the cost of gas has remained constant lately?
Imagine my surprise when I nearly stumbled upon this most foul sight! Chickens from outer space have invaded the state of Rhode Island. See how even the poor domestic Rhode Island Red huddles in fear at this monstrous alien?! It towers over the native chicken. I’m sure it would have blasted me if I hadn’t hidden behind a barn.
And as I watched, it’s space ship hovered nearby and began loading cows onto the ship. Stunned and petrified, I hid behind the barn for hours and then, suddenly, the cows were let go and the ship disappeared. Worse yet, they were humming show tunes! Now, I know California cows are supposed to be happy, but this is Rhode Island! And SHOW TUNES?! That’s just creepy!
I don’t know what they did to the cows. They aren’t talking to me about it. You decide if you think something weird happened, but I’m pretty sure they weren’t invited aboard for tea and cookies (well, you can’t feed them milk can you?)
Hmmm…. I wonder if orange juice would taste okay on my cereal….
